| Answer
from Jesus:
It is always your responsibility to first look at yourself, to look
in the mirror. You know my parable about those who first see the mote
in the eye of another and do not see the beam in their own eyes. So
as a spiritual seeker you should always seek to see things in yourself.
Yet as you walk the path, you will come to the point where you do
see things in yourself and therefore you also more clearly see what
is going on in the psyche of another. So there will come a point where
it is your responsibility to bring something to another's attention,
so that they might have the opportunity to see what they cannot see
on their own.
Truly, spiritual seekers who are in the right frame of mind can assist
each other greatly because every person has blind spots, things they
cannot see in themselves but that are obvious to other people. And so
by lovingly bringing this to each other’s attention you can assist
each other greatly on the path.
The real test that you should apply to yourself is, whether you feel
attached to what you see in the other person. Does it bother you? Are
you angry over it? Do you fear it? Do you feel compelled to make the
other person see his or her faults, feeling like you lose something
or is violated if the other person doesn't see it? And if you can identify
those types of feelings in yourself, then it will be good to assume
that you have not yet fully healed your own psychology.
Therefore, it might be better not to say anything to the other person
because you can assume that as long as you still have attachments and
negative feelings, those feelings will prevent you from seeing clearly
what is going on in the other person’s psychology. You would then
work on yourself – until you feel the greater clarity that comes
with non-attachment – and then you would speak to the other person.
We might also say, that if you can bring a problem to another person’s
attention from the purity of love, then by all means do so. But if you
identify other feelings, then hold back awhile, look in the mirror and
see if perhaps the other person is bringing out something in your own
psychology that would be beneficial for you to heal so that you can
be free and move on.
As I have said many times, balance and non-attachment is the key. If
you are balanced, you see clearly and you are not compelled by self-centered
feelings. If you are non-attached, you can tell the other person without
being upset if he or she does not agree or does not change. Always remember
to respect God's law of free will. It IS your responsibility to give
the other person the opportunity to change by telling him or her what
you see. It is NOT your responsibility to make choices for the other
person regarding what he or she should do with the information you offer.
Tell the other person and remain non-attached to the response. If you
detect an attachment in yourself regarding the response, then use that
to discover the beam in your own eye. When you react to other
people – as opposed to freely choosing your response to a situation
– it is always because you have something to resolve in yourself.
So from that point of view, you can never lose by bringing things to
other people's attention. Just be open to discovering something in yourself
and be determined that even if they don't take the opportunity to learn
from the situation, you will.
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Copyright
© 2005 by Kim Michaels |
