Ego
game No. 1: Just be normal!
NOTE:
This teaching was given on November 2, 2006, after the NEW
DIRECTION was implemented.
Jesus: There are some ego games that are very specific,
and they are relatively easy to expose when they are outplayed in specific
situations. There are other ego games that are more general, and they
can be difficult to expose because they apply in many different situations,
even in all situations. These general ego games often set the stage
for the specific ego games, and thus they can impair your ability to
see through and rise above the specific games. Thus, I will begin by
talking about one of the general ego games.
To understand this game, let us summarize what I have explained in the
previous couple of discourses:
-
The ego wants to blind
you to the existence of a higher reality that is beyond the dualistic
thinking of the ego.
-
Once you are blinded
by that illusion, the ego wants to keep you there indefinitely.
-
The ego wants you to
go where it wants you to go without you realizing what is happening.
It wants to take you down the staircase of life so gradually that
you don’t notice the descent.
-
If you refuse to go further
down, the ego wants to keep you standing still at your present level.
Even after you start climbing back up, the ego seeks to stop your
growth at any level.
- It takes a distinct
decision to stand up and start walking back up the staircase of life.
The ego will do anything to prevent you from making such a LIFE decision.
So what is the ego’s
primary weapon in attempting to prevent you from making LIFE decisions
and taking the next step up the staircase of life? It is that the ego
seeks to make you accept a norm, a definition of what is considered
normal behavior. The ego will then project into your conscious mind
that as long as you stay within what it has defined as normal, there
is no reason for you to do anything out of the ordinary, such as making
a LIFE decision and taking a distinct step up the staircase. In other
words, the ego wants you to believe that sliding down the staircase
or standing still is normal behavior, whereas taking a step up the staircase
is abnormal and therefore unnecessary, dangerous, forbidden or impossible.
The ego’s message is, “Don’t rock the boat—just
be normal like everyone else!”
In this endeavor, the ego has a major ally, namely what some psychologists
call the collective unconscious. We might also call it the mass consciousness
or the planetary ego. When you look at society, you will see that many
people live their entire lives within the norms of their particular
society, blindly following the standards for normal behavior in anything
from religion to fashion trends.
Throughout history, you will see that many societies have imposed various
penalties for going beyond their norms. This can be drastic measures,
such as being killed, deported, imprisoned or herded into railroad cars
and taken off to a concentration camp. Or it can be less dramatic –
and thus harder to expose – methods ranging from family and social
pressure to simply not teaching people that there is a different way
to look at life.
Once a society has created a state in which most people fear to go against
or question the norm, that society has become rigid. There is little
possibility of an internal change, which is why such societies often
enter a downward slide that leads to their collapse, either through
internal factors or an external enemy that conquers them. The Roman
empire is a prime example, but many others litter the pages of history.
Historically speaking, very few societies have had norms that made it
acceptable behavior to follow the spiritual path. Most societies have
discouraged people from doing so—even – or perhaps especially
– religious societies. That is why I was opposed, pressured and
attacked from all sides when I started expressing my Christhood. Thus,
all sincere spiritual seekers should expect that they will have to go
beyond the norms of their society in order to pursue the spiritual path
to its full extent. In other words, a spiritual seeker might as well
accept the fact that spiritual growth is currently not seen as normal
by any Western society. And once you expect to be abnormal – with
whatever that entails in your particular environment – you are
not as susceptible to your ego’s subtle attempts to make you stay
within the norm—stay within the fold.
Beyond your society, you also need to be aware of the inner pressure
created by your ego itself. Your personal norm is clearly affected by
the environment in which you grew up, but it also has its own personal
characteristics that your ego has carefully created over many lifetimes.
These are designed to keep you following what your ego has defined as
normal, and thus a spiritual seeker must be wiling to examine his or
her norms. No one ever has been successful on the spiritual path without
examining and questioning – and then transcending –
his or her personal norms as well as the external norm of the environment.
In other words, for a spiritual seeker, going beyond the norm should
be considered normal behavior.
The carrot and the stick
The concept of a norm implies a median value, a sort of average. But
a median exists only in relation to two extremes, as an average is found
somewhere between a high and a low. So the ego seeks to define its norm
by setting up a high and a low:
-
The carrot is the highest
you can attain, the wildest dream, your ultimate sense of happiness—according
to the ego. Yet because the ego cannot see beyond the duality consciousness,
it will define this high based on its own limited vision. Or it
will define the way to attain this ultimate state based on its illusions.
For example, many spiritual people have a somewhat correct vision
in terms of thinking the ultimate goal of life is an exalted state
in the spiritual realm. Yet their egos often manage to make them
believe in the automatic path to that goal, as I explained in previous
discourses. One obvious
example is the belief that if you verbally confess Jesus Christ
to be your Lord and Savior, then I will automatically take upon
myself all of your sins and take you to heaven.
- The stick is your greatest
fears, the vision of the worst that could possibly happen to you.
Again, the ego will define this based on its own illusions, and thus
there will always be a clear element of irrationality. In fact, all
fear is irrational, for when you truly understand the reality of God,
truth will set you free from all fear.
My point here is that –
in reality – the ego’s norm is a mental prison that is meant
to keep you within the boundaries where your ego feels it can control
you. Yet the ego presents the norm as a safe zone that will guarantee
that you attain your highest dream while keeping you safe from your
worst fears. To use my previous example, as long as you believe Jesus
will save you, you will be saved. And as long as you do not question
the doctrine of the vicarious atonement, you will avoid burning in hell.
The conclusion is simple. As long as you do not question the norm, including
the carrot and the stick, you will stay within the mental box defined
by your ego and no spiritual growth is possible. Thus, you will not
begin to grow spiritually until you begin to question your ego’s
norm. The ego, of course, will do anything it can think of to make you
believe questioning the norm is dangerous, and thus you must be prepared
to question the reasons for why you should not question the norm.
As I said, all fear is irrational, and all irrationality can be removed
through proper understanding. So the very key to any kind of progress
is to seek understanding. As the Bible itself puts it, “With all
thy getting, get understanding.” This is also why I often talked
about those who have “ears to hear” or “eyes to see.”
It is why I told people that if they seek, they shall find, if they
ask, they shall receive and if they knock, the door shall be opened
unto them. Yet I know the fear of questioning the norm is very persuasive,
so let me attempt to give you the clarity that will empower you to conquer
it.
Why it is dangerous NOT to question the norm
As an example, I will use traditional Christian terminology. Most Christian
churches would agree that you need to be saved because you have sinned.
Yet why do you have the option to sin, why didn’t God simply create
you without that option, so that there would be no question about whether
or not you would be saved?
Most churches would also agree that you have to do something in order
to be saved—you have to make certain choices. They often disagree
on what you have to do, but that is not important in this context. The
very fact that you are not automatically saved and that you have to
do something in order to be saved shows that God gave you free will.
Because you have free will, you can choose to go against God’s
law – thereby sinning and jeopardizing your salvation –
or you can choose to align yourself with God’s law and be saved.
The very fact that God gave you free will shows that while God wants
you to enter his kingdom, he does not want to force you to do so. If
he was a forceful God, he would have created you without the option
to sin, so that you would automatically be in God’s kingdom. So
the logical conclusion is that God did not create you as a robot, but
he wants you to enter his kingdom out of your own free-will choosing.
What will it take for you to voluntarily enter God’s kingdom?
It will take that you understand that entering God’s kingdom is
what you really want, and thus doing what it takes to enter is in your
own best interest. You must overcome any sense of fear, the sense that
you are somehow forced to be saved because otherwise you will end up
in a terrible place. You must overcome any sense of obligation, the
sense that you should give up your earthly pleasures in order to enter
heaven—which really is the subtle sense that being saved is a
loss of earthly things.
Entering God’s kingdom must be a completely free choice, and you
can make a free choice only when you have the full understanding of
what is involved in the choice. You must be able to see why choosing
God’s kingdom over an earthly kingdom is enlightened self-interest.
You must see that you do not lose anything but gain something that is
infinitely more valuable than anything you have on Earth. If you do
not have this full understanding, you simply cannot make a free choice.
A choice that is based on even partial ignorance can never be a free
choice.
The conclusion is clear. God wants you to make a free choice, which
is why he gave you free will. God knows that when you have the full
understanding of reality, you will lovingly choose God’s kingdom
over anything on Earth. And therefore, God wants you to have the full
understanding of reality. In other words, God has nothing to hide and
is not seeking to hide anything from you. Thus, it can only be the forces
who seek to keep you out of God’s kingdom that want to prevent
you from having full understanding.
It is the ego and the prince of this world who are seeking to keep you
in ignorance by making you believe that asking certain questions is
dangerous. These forces have often used religion to stop people from
asking questions, yet in this age it is time people rise above that
intimidation and demand the full truth about their relationship with
God. The reality is that God never seeks to discourage you from discovering
the truth that will make you free. So when you encounter any inner or
outer resistance to your growth in understanding, you know the ego and
the prince of this world are at work. Thus, be willing to question the
norm, be willing to transcend the norm, be willing to be MORE than the
norm tells you that you can or are allowed to be.
The norm, an uneven standard
For the vast majority of human beings, the norm set by their egos is
to not go beyond what is considered normal behavior in their society.
Obviously, various cultures and societies have different standards for
what is considered normal, so the norms created in different parts of
the world can vary greatly. Yet they all say pretty much the same thing,
namely that you should not do anything extraordinary. Just be an ordinary
human being and you will reach whatever goal is defined. For example,
just be an ordinary Christian and follow the doctrines of your church
and then you will be saved.
Most people are happy to live what might be called “ordinary”
lives by following the standard for what is considered normal. Yet in
every society there are people who cannot be satisfied by being normal,
and they long for something extraordinary in their lives. Thus, they
often engage in a sincere striving for excellence and seek to rise above
“ordinary” people in a variety of ways.
Unfortunately, most of these people get trapped in another ego game,
namely that of competing with others. Although their striving for excellence
could potentially lead them to make progress on the spiritual path,
as long as they are caught in the game of comparison, they are not truly
rising above the ego. The ego loves to feel superior to others, so for
these people, their egos have simply defined a different norm. This
norm says that instead of blending into the crowd, these people’s
norm is to stand out from the crowd. It is normal for them to be better
than others.
In its extreme form, this can make people believe that they belong to
a separate category of people, a higher class, that is inherently above
the masses. Thus, for these people, superiority has become the norm,
and their lives are eaten up by a quest to prove this superiority by
any means, be it power, intelligence, education, sports, money, beauty
or whatever else might be available.
Obviously, being involved with a spiritual teaching or movement is not
above being used by the ego to create the sense of superiority. Many
spiritual people have been trapped in pursuing a goal defined by their
egos, often set up as the guaranteed path to salvation. As long as you
follow the outer rules set by this or that spiritual organization, you
will rise above others and be more spiritual—says the ego.
In fact, the vast majority of the spiritual organizations found on this
planet have norms – sometimes clearly defined and sometimes unspoken
or vague – that are partially or fully defined by the egos of
the leaders and members of the organization. The ego has simply managed
to make such people accept its norm for what it means to be a spiritual
person.
Behind all norms is an underlying message, namely that it is never normal
for you to go beyond being human—as defined by the consciousness
of duality. The ego will let you rise however high you want, as long
as you stay within the dualistic game of comparing yourself to others
or to an outer standard. What the ego does not want to see is that you
begin to attain union with your I AM Presence so that you begin to strive
to be – here on Earth – an extension of the Being you
already are in the spiritual realm.
The ego knows that once you begin to know your spiritual being, you
will see beyond any earthly standard and you will want MORE than the
Earth – or the ego – can offer. You will begin to become
non-attached to the goals and norms defined by the ego, and this will
gradually empower you to take command over your own mind and being.
You can then follow the original call for all co-creators, namely to
multiply and have dominion over the Earth. Thus, any norm defined by
the ego has as its underlying goal to prevent you from attaining this
non-dualistic approach to life. The ego will let you be any kind of
human being you want to be, but it does not want you to be here below
all that you are Above.
The norm, an ever-moving target
It is essential for spiritual seekers to realize that the ego’s
norm is not a fixed entity. As you grow on the spiritual path, your
ego will adapt to your new beliefs, your new world view. Obviously,
the ego would prefer to keep you away from the spiritual path and keep
you trapped in the materialistic ego games that I will describe in coming
discourses. Yet if it cannot do so, it will simply change its norm to
incorporate your spiritual beliefs while distorting them in subtle ways
so that you still stay within the borders of being a human being.
I have already described the ego’s attempt to create the illusion
of an automatic salvation, and it is essential for all spiritual seekers
to consider whether they have been trapped by their ego’s attempt
to set up a norm that appeases their spiritual beliefs while preventing
any serious spiritual growth.
The reality is that as long as you have any ego left, it will attempt
to adapt its norm, including the stick and the carrot, to your present
level of consciousness. The purpose is always to prevent you from going
beyond your current state of consciousness. That is why is is so important
for a spiritual seeker to realize that you can never stand still. Stillstand
means that the ego will catch up to you, and when it does, it will create
a new norm which makes it seem as if your current level on the spiritual
path is all that is needed or possible. Thus, you should feel comfortable
staying where you are and forget about going higher.
Be aware that the higher you climb on the path, the more subtle your
ego becomes. As you educate yourself in spiritual concepts, you are
also educating your ego, and it will use this education to create a
norm that is very persuasive. This norm will play on all of your spiritual
beliefs and it might contain much truth. Yet there is always that slight
distortion which seeks to prevent you from transcending your current
state of consciousness.
That is why you can never stand still, never allow yourself to become
too comfortable. If you will take an honest look at spiritual organizations,
you will see that there is a distinct pattern. Many members start out
by eagerly following whatever path if offered in the organization. They
apply themselves fully and often make great progress. Yet as they climb
the ranks of the outer organization, they gradually become more concerned
about their outer positions than their inner progress.
Thus, they now seek to defend their positions rather than transcending
them, and this is the hallmark of the ego. It is a sure sign that they
have now accepted a new norm that reinforces the belief that they are
very spiritual because they live up to outer characteristics defined
by the dualistic vision of the ego. Many spiritual organizations have
been perverted by this process and have lost their original transformative
qualities. Instead, they now seek to trap people at a certain level
and prevent them from going beyond the norm – overt or hidden
– defined by the organization.
Questioning the norm
The effect of the norm is to get you to “do nothing” –
or rather to continue to do the same thing – while feeling that
you do not need to change yourself or any aspect of your life. That
is why so many people only have a spiritual awakening when they experience
a major crisis in their lives. Only when some outside event shatters
their sense that everything is normal, that everything is okay, do they
wake up and acknowledge that something needs to change.
Consider how many people are moving very gradually toward such a crisis,
and everyone around them can see where they are going, but they cannot
see it themselves. Well, they cannot see it because so far nothing has
disturbed the norm, the sense that they are okay and that nothing bad
will happen as long as they keep doing what they are doing. The more
blinded people are by the norms of their egos, the more severe the crisis
that is needed in order to wake them up and make them willing to change.
It is always sad for a spiritual seeker to see how people move toward
a crisis while ignoring all of the warning signals. They simply bury
their heads in the sand and refuse to heed the people or events that
are meant to signal that it is time to change course. As a spiritual
teacher, I would very much wish that all sincere seekers would avoid
this trap, but the only way to do so is to become aware of the ego’s
norm and be willing to question it.
The basic fact is that the ego’s norm is always designed to prevent
you from going beyond a certain level. You simply cannot go beyond that
level until you see what is holding you back, namely a norm created
by the dualistic mind. Thus, it is essential for all spiritual seekers
to be aware of the existence of a norm and to always remain open to
questioning it.
This involves questioning all elements of the norm, including the high,
the low and the median:
-
The Median.
It might be normal for most people to behave or believe a certain
way, but that is not to say it is normal for spiritual seekers.
If you truly understand the spiritual path, your goal should be
to transcend yourself, so this is the standard you need to apply.
Will the norms I have in certain areas help me grow spiritually,
or will they tie me to a certain level, a level that might be comfortable
but does not lead to growth? You should also be aware that there
is always a temptation to become comfortable at any level of the
spiritual path. So if you feel yourself becoming comfortable and
start to think you do not need to go higher or that you can keep
doing the same thing, be alert and start questioning the norm that
gives rise to such thoughts and feelings. Self-transcendence means
that you cannot keep doing or believing the same thing for an indefinite
period of time. There will come a time, when it is necessary to
make a LIFE decision and rise to an entirely new level.
-
The high.
Question your highest dreams or vision and be willing to go within
and seek an even higher vision from your Christ self. Be aware that
your ego can never truly understand the spiritual path, so it cannot
define the highest possible goal for you. That goal is already defined
in your divine plan, and you only need to uncover it, but to do
so, you need to look beyond the limited vision of the ego. You also
need to question the way the ego defines for reaching your/its goals.
The ego can never understand self-transcendence, so it will tend
to come up with outer criteria for reaching whatever goals you have.
Be willing to look beyond them. Study spiritual teachings and ask
for direction from your Christ self, so that you can refine your
vision of how to reach your goals. Above all, always be willing
to reach for more, for a higher vision than you have right now.
- The low.
Be willing to realize that all fear springs from an illusion. The
crippling effect of fear is that it makes you afraid to look at what
you fear, and therefore you cannot discover that your fear is based
on an illusion. Once you take a look, you see the irrationality of
fear, and that is the first step to leaving it behind. Ask yourself,
“What is the worst thing that could happen? Would that prevent
me from learning my lessons and transcending myself?” You see,
when you begin to look beyond the ego’s norms, you realize that
the true goal of life is for you to grow spiritually, which means
you have the potential to learn from every situation. Many people
have grown tremendously from the worst tragedies. This is not to say
you should long for a tragedy, but that you should realize that even
if the worst happened, it would not mean the end of your spiritual
growth. Once you begin to consider that even if the worst fears of
your ego came to pass, it would only accelerate your growth, you begin
to truly overcome the paralyzing effect of the ego’s fears.
Your conscious self has no fear. Only the ego has fears, so once you
start separating yourself from the ego, you will no longer be overwhelmed
by its fears, for you see how irrational and paranoid they are.
Why have I chosen to talk
about this norm game before I talk about more specific ego games? Because
for each of the specific ego games, there is a norm game. When you are
caught in a specific ego game, you think the game is normal behavior,
and thus you simply cannot see that there is anything wrong with it.
You cannot see how it limits or even hurts yourself, let alone other
people. You simply cannot see the beam in your own eye, and thus you
obviously cannot start removing it.
So before you can even begin to see through a specific ego game, you
must overcome the illusion that playing this game is normal behavior.
You must realize that even if it is normal behavior for most human beings,
it is not normal for a spiritual seeker, a person who wants spiritual
freedom. You must realize that playing the game takes away your freedom,
and this empowers you to start separating yourself from that specific
game, eventually leaving it behind for good. Thus, the crucial point
for overcoming any ego game is to have a moment of truth, where you
see what you are doing, see that it is an ego game and then have the
spontaneous decision, “I can’t keep doing this anymore,
I have to change.”
In the beginning, such a moment of truth can be a shock to you because
you are still so identified with the ego. It can cause you some emotional
pain and hurt pride to realize that you are trapped in an ego game.
Yet as you begin to separate yourself from the ego, the shock will be
less and less, until you can discover an ego game without feeling any
sense of shock or pain. You simply see it for what it is and let it
go, as easily as you throw away a pair of old pants that are worn out.
By building this momentum of seeing and letting go of ego games, you
will make it easier for yourself to walk the path. And to encourage
this process, I will go on to talk about some of the most materialistic
ego games, games that most spiritual seekers have moved beyond. Thus,
I hope to help you see that you have already built a momentum on overcoming
ego games. You simply need to become aware of this so you can apply
it to the ego games you have not yet seen, whereby you can overcome
them without pain. The spiritual path is not a painful process, but
a joyful process of letting go of what limits you so that you can experience
greater freedom.
Ego game No. 2: The
ultimate survival game
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Copyright
© 2006 by Kim Michaels |
